


3 Times Alec Says Nothing + the 1 Time He Does

by malecyday



Series: Malec Drabbles [12]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: 02x15 Sneak Peak, Alec waking up in the mornings, Alec wants to help, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Character Analysis, Hurt Magnus Bane, M/M, Magnus is not 'fine', Spoilers, conflicted Alec, that sneak peak did things to me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-01
Updated: 2017-07-01
Packaged: 2018-11-22 01:25:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11369673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/malecyday/pseuds/malecyday
Summary: Did he sleep at all? Did he even come to bed? He knows something is wrong, and Alec doesn’t want Magnus to push him away, but he also doesn’t want to push Magnus into telling him something he's not comfortable with yet.He doesn’t know what to do.3 times Alec wakes up alone and says nothing about it and the one time he does. Based on the new 02x15 sneak peak.





	3 Times Alec Says Nothing + the 1 Time He Does

**Author's Note:**

> *hides* I should be writing for my other fics but I couldn't resist. That sneak peak was just too much I'M SORRY!  
> This is not beta-ed and kind of rushed, but I hope you enjoy anyway :)

1st Morning 

Alec lets out a soft sigh as he wakes from what has to be his first night of good sleep in weeks. After all the Shadowhunter murders, and with him becoming the new Head of the Institute, he had become rather busy lately. Unfortunately, the job required late nights most of the time, but what gets him through all the work is the certainty that Magnus will always be there at the end of the day to welcome him home, no matter the time.

And so, last night, he had come home late to find Magnus in bed already. Awake, strangely. Alec asked about it, but Magnus just told him he wanted to wait up for him. And so Alec, in his sleep-deprived state, flopped onto the bed without another thought, wrapped his arms around his boyfriend, and instantly fell asleep.

Now, Alec stretches out to find the source of his good sleep and frowns when his arms hit nothing but cold sheets. Willing himself to open his eyes, he sees that Magnus isn't there.  He scans the room, maybe he's getting dressed or in the shower, but then he notices the bedroom’s open door and the low sounds of activity in the kitchen.

Still a little sleepy, and missing his morning cuddle way too much, Alec gets up and follows the sounds over to the kitchen in nothing but his boxers.

He immediately spots Magnus, wrapped in one of his many silk robes, swaying to the sound of soft classical music as he flips a pancake.

Alec grins at the sight and slowly makes his way over to wrap his arms around his boyfriend. But he notices a slight flinch before his boyfriend melts into his arms. Finding it strange but saying nothing, Alec instead buries his nose against Magnus’ neck.

“You’re making breakfast?” he murmurs against his skin.

Magnus chuckles, the shake of his shoulders bumping Alec’s head and making him smile. “Is that surprising?”

“You just normally prefer to conjure it, is all,” Alec says. He feels Magnus tense a little in his arms. It's almost unnoticeable, but it's there. Alec frowns. Did he say something wrong?

“Lucky for you, I had the urge to cook,” Magnus responds after a beat, turning off the stove as he moves in Alec’s arms to face him with a smile. “Hungry?”

Alec leans forward to rest their foreheads together and sighs contently, getting lost in Magnus’ brown eyes. He doesn’t usually glamour them in the morning, but Alec doesn’t think much of it. Instead, he smiles. “Starving.”

 

2nd Morning 

They both came home together the night before. After their short breakfast yesterday, Alec left for the Institute. Once there, he had received information for a mission that could really use the help of a warlock. Any excuse to see Magnus was good enough for Alec, really, and so they had been working together all day. But the mission had been long and Alec had gotten injured while out helping in the field. Not unusual, and nothing an iratze couldn't fix, but Magnus had acted very protectively afterwards, saying he should have seen the demon that attacked him coming. No matter how many times Alec told him he was fine.

When they got home, all Alec wanted to do was go to sleep, but Magnus had been insistent about taking care of him, so while he laid in bed, Magnus made tea. And after Alec drank the tea, Magnus asked if he wanted a massage.

Alec laughed then. He reached out to grab Magnus by the waist and flip them over so that Alec was hovering over him. He told him he was fine, over and over again until Magnus sighed out an 'okay'. Then Alec saw something spark in his eyes, and he was soon pulled down on top of his boyfriend.

Magnus kissed him with a strange desperation. Alec thought maybe it had to do with him thinking Alec could have died, but this was nothing like their kiss after the Downworlder massacre. It was more frantic. Like Magnus really needed a distraction.

Alec really didn't understand what was going on, so he provided the needed distraction, treating Magnus with love and gratitude late into the night until both were too tired to do anything more than sleep. At least for Alec.

Now that he thinks about it, lying in bed the next morning, Alec never made Magnus fall asleep. And although he hears water running in the bathroom, the other side of the bed is too cold for Magnus to have recently gotten up. How long had he been awake?

He's about to call out when the water abruptly stops and Alec hears a low murmur coming from the open door. He doesn't know what Magnus is saying, but he's immediately filled with unease.

He sits up slowly. "Want some company in there?" he shouts out. The murmuring immediately stops and is instead replaced by the loud clang of something falling. Magnus is at the door in seconds, fully clothed and with his signature makeup on his face.

"I'm actually going to go meet a client," he says with a bright smile. He walks over to their bed and leans over to kiss Alec goodbye.

"See you tonight?" Alec asks, mild concern lacing his voice as Magnus makes his way out of the room.

"Tonight!" Then he's out the door, leaving Alec to ponder all the things that could be on Magnus' mind.

 

3rd Morning 

When Alec got home last night, it had been earlier than usual, and when he had, it was to Magnus working restlessly.

It wasn’t unusual for Alec to come back to Magnus working, but this time he seemed to be doing it to busy himself from something. Alec asked how the meeting with his client had gone, if he needed any help with work, and if he was ok, but Magnus just told him he had a lot of work to do, and he'd be up for a while. When Alec had gone to bed a few hours later, Magnus had still been working.

Which is why Alec finds it troubling when he finds Magnus’ side of the bed empty once again. Did he sleep at all? Did he even come to bed? He knows something is wrong, and Alec doesn’t want Magnus to push him away, but he also doesn’t want to push Magnus into telling him something he's not comfortable with yet.

He doesn’t know what to do.

So he waits. He lies in bed staring at the door with hopes that Magnus will walk through it and tell him everything that’s on his mind, even though he hears nothing from outside of the room.

Maybe he fell asleep working. Maybe Alec should go out there and carry him back to bed. Maybe-

His thoughts are interrupted by the soft buzz of his phone at the bedside table. It’s early, but never too early for the Head of the Institute.

_Izzy: need you here_

He sighs as he quickly gets ready, assuring himself a shower can wait until he gets to his room at the Institute. He's soon to step out of the room and into the living room, where he catches Magnus sitting on the couch, staring at his hands in a stupor with his face bare of any makeup. Alec has woken up to a bare faced Magnus many times, it has always taken his breath away to see that even beneath the layers he was just as gorgeous, but now he just looks worn down and tired. The sight alone is enough to send a stab of pain through Alec's heart. But, before he can get a word out, Magnus looks up, and there's a sudden, almost forced smile on his face.

“Good morning, Alexander!” he says, then eyes his boyfriend up and down with a pout. “Duty calls?”

Alec takes a moment before he nods. “Yeah, I uh, I have to go.” He walks closer until he's right in front of Magnus, then he crouches down to be at his level. He bites his lip nervously. “Call me if you need anything, alright?”

Magnus almost looks surprised as Alec presses their lips together quickly in goodbye. “Of course,” he barely whispers.

Alec nods once, making sure to peck Magnus once more on the cheek before leaving. “I love you, Magnus,” he says, pausing at the front door. Magnus smiles, and Alec thinks that maybe his words may have helped. That maybe when he comes home, Magnus will choose to talk to him, they'll figure everything out, then they can get through this together. He hopes so.

“I love you too, Alexander.”

But Alec doesn’t see the way that smile falls as soon as he walks out the door.

 

4th Morning 

When Alec wakes up, his arms empty for the fourth morning in a row even after he made sure Magnus was asleep in his arms the night before, he knows he can't just let it go this time. Not when he's starting to get used to fake smiles and an empty bed.

So he gets dressed in his pants, then steps out of their bedroom with his shirt in hand as he scans the dim living room and spots his love sitting in front of a mirror, silent.

“There you are,” he says as he tugs his shirt on. He watches Magnus quickly turn at the sound of his voice, that same smile on his face that doesn't reach his normally lit up eyes.

“Good morning!" Magnus says.

Alec lets out a short, uneasy laugh. “I'd say the same," he says, "but it looks like you haven’t slept.”

“Should I be insulted by that?” Magnus teases, walking over to where Alec stands with his hands securely behind his back. If he's going to do this, he has to resist Magnus' attempts to distract him and stand his ground when he tries to deflect.

“No,” he says, stepping closer, feeling the need to reassure. “I love that face. But this is, like, the fourth morning in a row that I’ve woken up to an empty bed.”

He pauses, eyes not leaving Magnus even when Magnus looks away from him for a moment, smile faltering. Alec wants him to talk. “Is something bothering you?” he tries.

“Nothing is bothering me,” Magnus says and shakes his head in amusement, a teasing smile appearing on his face when he looks back at his boyfriend. “I’ve even gotten used to your adorable little snores."

Well that's too far. “Hey, I don’t snore.” Magnus then proceeds to demonstrate Alec’s _supposed_ snoring, and Alec is almost tricked leaving it there. But not quite. “Look,” he huffs out, and Magnus laughs softly, opening his eyes to look up at Alec once more.

Alec lowers his voice, hoping to get across that _he’s worried_. “I know you well enough to know something’s going on.”

“Alexander,” Magnus smiles. “I’m fine.”

As if to prove it, he raises himself on his toes to press a quick kiss on Alec’s lips.

But Alec pauses to look at Magnus when he draws back. He _really_ looks, and he knows he isn’t fine. Can see it in the way his eyes fail to light up like they used to, or the way he’s using makeup as a cover for the sleepless nights he has suffered alone. Things he probably thinks Alec won’t detect. But his love is suffering and it's as heartbreaking as it is noticeable to Alec.

Of course, a call interrupts Alec before he has the chance to challenge Magnus' words. And Alec tells whoever is on the other end of the phone that whatever they want can wait, but apparently, it's urgent. Valentine is being moved to Idris today.

When he's finished, he sighs and turns back to where Magnus is sipping from his cup at the kitchen counter, his back to Alec as he carefully rebuilds his walls. “We’re talking about this when I get home tonight,” Alec says, and walks over to turn Magnus back towards him. He draws him close and rests a hand on Magnus’ cheek.

“Alexander, I’m telling you-” he attempts once more, but the pain is more clear in his features, the desperation more evident in his words. Like he's trying to convince both himself and Alec.

Alec can't stand it.

With a deep breath, Alec closes his eyes and rests his forehead against Magnus'. “Don’t push me away.”

The small gasp that escapes Magnus' mouth is enough of a promise for Alec, so he leans down to press their lips together softly, before he turns to leave.

 

Bonus 1st Morning Together 

The happiness Alec feels as he wakes up to feel a strong pair of arms wrapped around his waist is indescribable.

After their long, tear-filled talk about Magnus’ past, about everything that had been plaguing his mind ever since the body swap incident, Alec basically carried Magnus to bed.

He was exhausted, having faced an avalanche of emotions head-on after years of suppression, so he melted into Alec’s touch, tears still streaming down his face, but with a small accompanying smile. Real, reaching his eyes, unlike every smile he had graced Alec with over the past few days.

“Thank you for listening, Alexander,” he said as they settled into bed, Magnus' head resting on Alec's chest, the both of them fully clothed but too exhausted to care.

“Thank you for trusting me,” Alec murmured and pressed a kiss to the top of his head.

“Always.”

Magnus fell asleep pretty quickly after that. Alec made sure of it. He watched Magnus settle against him, could feel his breaths gradually slowing, and didn’t close his own eyes until he was certain Magnus would sleep soundly tonight. He didn’t want to wake up another day with all of the blankets on his side. He didn't want to experience the emptiness of the bed without Magnus in it. He didn't want to ever know the feeling of cold sheets again.

He wanted his regular morning with Magnus, and he gets it.

Eyes fluttering open, he wakes to find Magnus fast asleep by his side, their legs tangled together beneath the sheets they way they should be. The way Alec longed for after all of those mornings alone.

And he knows that the issue isn’t solved, but at least now they will face it together.

**Author's Note:**

> I just want them to communicate and be happy :'(  
> I didn’t want to make this about their actual talk (plus I don’t think I would really do it justice anyway) but I hope you enjoyed the little bonus morning! Kudos' and comments make me a happy gal, and if you're more of a twitter commenter, I'm [@samwastherealhe](https://twitter.com/Samwastherealhe) on there!  
> Thanks for reading! :)


End file.
